LETTING GO TO WIN: THE HIDDEN PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND TRUE SUCCESS, RESILIENCE, AND FULFILLMENT - CHAPTER 02

We spend our lives chasing happiness, confidence, and success—only to find them slipping further away. What if the secret isn’t in doing more, but in doing less?

(Discussed previously- Chapter -01: The concept of Drown-Proofing, Lesson 1: Struggling Makes You Sink Faster, Lesson 2: Fear and Panic Are Your Greatest Enemies, Mastering Emotional Resilience: The Power of Letting Go Under Pressure)

Link to Chapter 01:

 https://conceptsnest.blogspot.com/2026/01/letting-go-to-win-hidden-psychology.html

The Law of Diminishing Returns: When More Effort Stops Paying Off

In many areas of life, we experience diminishing returns—a principle that states the more we invest in something, the less rewarding each additional unit of effort becomes. A classic example is money- to indicate this in numbers:

Recognizing when more effort stops yielding better results allows us to shift from overworking to optimizing. Instead of mindlessly pushing ourselves beyond the point of effectiveness, true success comes from knowing when to step back, reassess, and focus on high-impact actions.

Many such experiences offer immense value at first but diminish—or even backfire—when overdone. Daily Routines – A shower keeps us fresh, but 10 showers a day won’t make us cleaner—just prunier and waste more water. Food – The first bite of cake is heavenly; the tenth? Just excess sugar. Family Visits – Seeing loved ones is fulfilling, but too frequent visits may make them less special. Caffeine – One cup of coffee energizes; five cups just bring jitters and a crash. Studying – A few focused hours help; an all-nighter rarely improves performance. Vacations – A well-timed trip rejuvenates, but constant travel can leave us exhausted. Success isn’t about doing more—it’s about doing the right amount.

The Inverted Curve: When Trying Harder Works Against You

We've established that more effort doesn’t always mean better results—a key lesson of diminishing returns. But consider this - that in some cases, the more effort we put in, the more likely we are to fail. Welcome to the inverted curve, a strange and counterintuitive reality where trying too hard actively works against us.

Unlike the linear effort-to-reward model (where working twice as hard gets twice the results) or the diminishing returns curve (where extra effort produces weaker results), the inverted curve flips the entire equation. In this scenario, more effort actually leads to worse outcomes. A perfect example? Drown-proofing.

Where the Inverted Curve Shows Up in Life

You might be thinking, “So what? I’m not planning on binding my hands and feet and diving into a pool anytime soon.” Fair point. But the inverted curve isn’t just a freak occurrence—it applies to some of life’s most important areas.

Mastering the Inverted Curve: The Power of Letting Go

In some areas of life, effort leads to success. But in others, the harder you push, the worse the outcome. The paradox of achievement is knowing when to push forward and when to let go.

When it comes to psychological experiences, effort and reward don’t just diminish—they reverse. The more you chase happiness, the more elusive it becomes. The harder you try to control your emotions, the more out of control you feel. The stronger your desire for freedom, the more trapped you become. And the more you seek love and acceptance, the harder they are to find. Real success lies not in forcing outcomes but in surrendering to the flow. This paradox isn’t just anecdotal—it’s a fundamental truth of human psychology.

The Backwards Law: Why Wanting Less Gives You More

The Backwards Law states- "Desiring a positive experience is a negative experience; accepting a negative experience is a positive experience." In other words:

The more you chase happiness, the more you reinforce that you’re unhappy. The harder you try to relax, the more anxious you feel about doing it “right.” The more you seek confidence, the more you highlight your insecurities. The more you obsess over success, the more fear of failure controls you.

How to Break Free from the Backwards Law

If excessive wanting pushes goals further away, how do you actually get what you want? The answer is counterintuitive but powerful:

Ironically, when you stop chasing happiness, it finds you. When you stop forcing success, it unfolds naturally. And when you stop demanding love and validation, you attract people who value you for who you truly are. The most meaningful aspects of life—happiness, love, confidence, and fulfillment—aren’t achieved by forcing them. They emerge naturally when we accept uncertainty, embrace struggle, and release the need for control.

This paradox isn’t just about happiness—it applies to nearly every area of life, from mental health and relationships to personal growth and success.

How the Backwards Law Shapes Key Areas of Life

Chasing happiness, confidence, love, or success often has the opposite effect—pushing them further away. The key isn’t doing more but doing less of what doesn’t serve us, making space for what truly matters.

The Paradox of Surrender: Why Chasing Creates Resistance

Psychological experiences follow an inverted curve because they exist within our own minds. The more we chase happiness or success, the more resistance we create, keeping them just out of reach. Think of a dog chasing its own tail. It has spent its life hunting things down—so why not its tail? But no matter how fast it runs, the tail remains out of reach.

Breaking the Cycle: The Strength in Surrender

How do we stop running in circles? By letting go—not out of weakness, but out of wisdom. Accepting that control is an illusion, uncertainty is inevitable, and failure is part of growth allows us to move forward without resistance. Just like in drown-proofing, survival isn’t about fighting the water—it’s about trusting it. When you stop struggling and allow yourself to sink, the very thing you feared will lift you back to the surface. Let go. Trust the process. And just when you think you're sinking, you'll realize—you’ve already learned how to float.

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa