LETTING GO TO WIN: THE HIDDEN PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND TRUE SUCCESS, RESILIENCE, AND FULFILLMENT - CHAPTER 01

We spend our lives chasing happiness, confidence, and success—only to find them slipping further away. What if the secret isn’t in doing more, but in doing less?

In the Indian Armed Forces, elite units like MARCOS (Marine Commandos) and Para (Special Forces) undergo extreme water survival training designed to test their endurance, mental resilience, and ability to remain calm under pressure. One such exercise, similar to the U.S. Navy SEALs' "drown-proofing," requires trainees to survive in deep water while their hands and feet are bound.

Like many high-intensity military drills, this water survival test is exceptionally challenging, and a significant number of trainees fail on their first attempt. The moment they are dropped into the water, panic sets in for many, some struggle to stay afloat, while others exhaust themselves trying to fight the situation instead of adapting to it. Those unable to control their fear may lose consciousness underwater and need to be rescued by instructors.

Though fatalities in such training exercises are rare due to strict safety measures, the risks are real, reinforcing the gravity of elite military training. Exercises like these separate the best from the rest, ensuring only the most resilient soldiers make it to India’s most feared and capable special forces units.

But some trainees manage to pass the test—and they do so by internalizing two paradoxical yet life-changing lessons.

Lesson 1: Struggling Makes You Sink Faster

One of the hardest truths of water survival training is counterintuitive- the harder you fight to stay afloat, the faster you sink. With bound hands and feet, keeping your head above water for an extended period is physically impossible. Desperation leads to exhaustion, and exhaustion leads to failure. Many trainees instinctively thrash against the water, trying to resist their situation, only to tire themselves out and slip beneath the surface.

Mastering this technique requires patience, composure, and trust in the process. Surprisingly, success in this test has little to do with raw strength or even swimming ability—it depends entirely on one's ability to remain calm and conserve energy.

This lesson extends far beyond the pool. In life, struggles often seem overwhelming, whether it’s career setbacks, financial stress, or personal challenges. The instinctive response is to fight desperately against the circumstances, but sometimes, relentless resistance only drains us faster. The real solution is to pause, assess, and find a way to move with the situation rather than against it. Just like in the pool, survival isn’t about overpowering obstacles—it’s about adapting to them strategically.

Lesson 2: Fear and Panic Are Your Greatest Enemies

The second lesson is just as paradoxical- the more you panic, the more likely you are to drown.

This concept applies directly to high-pressure situations in real life. Whether in battle, business, or personal adversity, those who succumb to panic often make irrational decisions, burning through their mental and emotional reserves too quickly. Leaders who remain composed under stress inspire confidence and find solutions, while those who let fear take over often spiral into failure.

This is precisely why India’s elite forces, such as MARCOS and Para SF, undergo extreme mental conditioning in addition to physical training. A soldier in combat must not only withstand the enemy’s fire but also control the fear and uncertainty within their own mind. The same applies to anyone facing everyday battles—whether it's navigating a crisis at work, dealing with failure, or handling unexpected setbacks, success belongs to those who can quiet their inner panic and think clearly under pressure.

Mastering Emotional Resilience: The Power of Letting Go Under Pressure

More than just a test of physical endurance, water survival training is ultimately a test of emotional self-control in the face of extreme danger. Can a soldier override his survival instincts and remain composed? Can he suppress panic and adapt, even when every fiber of his being is screaming to fight or flee? Can he willingly face the possibility of death in the service of a higher cause? These mental skills surpass swimming ability, toughness, or ambition. They matter more than credentials or accolades. In combat, where split-second decisions mean life or death, self-mastery is the ultimate weapon.

But this lesson applies to anyone navigating the uncertainties of life. The ability to let go of control precisely when we crave it the most is one of the greatest skills a person can develop. Whether in high-stakes corporate boardrooms, intense sports arenas, or personal crises, those who can stay calm under pressure rise above the rest. The world is unpredictable, and trying to control everything is often futile. True strength comes not from resisting uncertainty, but from embracing it, adapting, and making the best possible move.

The Myth of Linear Effort: Why More Isn’t Always Better

Most people assume that effort and reward share a simple, linear relationship. We believe that working twice as hard will generate twice the results. That investing double the effort in a relationship will lead to twice the love and appreciation. That making our argument twice as loud will make us twice as persuasive.

When Effort and Results Don't Scale Equally

Linear relationships exist mainly in repetitive, mechanical tasks—such as data entry, driving long distances, or household chores. In these cases, working for two hours instead of one directly doubles productivity because the task itself requires minimal thought or problem-solving. The results are predictable and scalable.

But real-world challenges—whether in career growth, relationships, or personal development—are far more complex and non-linear. Success in these areas is not just about putting in more hours; it’s about working smarter, adapting, and focusing on high-impact efforts.

The Power of Strategic Effort

In high-performance fields like business, leadership, and sports, success isn’t simply about grinding harder—it’s about optimizing effort. Mental resilience, creativity, and adaptability play a bigger role than sheer hours spent. This is why a professional athlete doesn’t just train longer but also focuses on efficient recovery, targeted drills, and mental conditioning. Similarly, a leader’s success isn’t measured by how long they work, but by how effectively they make decisions and inspire others.

The Reality of Diminishing Returns: Why More Is not Always Better

Understanding that effort and reward don’t always scale equally helps us shift from mindless hard work to strategic, high-impact action. This mindset not only boosts productivity and efficiency but also ensures long-term success and sustainability in both personal and professional life.

(To be continued in Chapter 02 - The Law of Diminishing Returns: When More Effort Stops Paying Off, The Inverted Curve: When Trying Harder Works Against Us, How the Backwards Law Shapes Key Areas of Life, The Paradox of Surrender: Why Chasing Creates Resistance)

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa