ConceptsNest

Both science and common sense tell us we should avoid discussing topics at work that incite emotion and make us irrational. Hundreds of behavioral science studies show that people rarely understand the true intentions of others. Two main reasons exist. On one hand, we all exhibit thinking biases, and these biases distort how we interpret what others tell us. On the other hand, even if we as listeners take pains to counter our biases and think correctly, emotions aroused by controversial, hot-button topics, can deplete abilities to reason . This two-fold assault on the mental strength or cognitive control can lead to misunderstandings and getting viewed as a threat. For all those reasons, it is essential we appreciate the consequences of raising, controversial, hot button topics in the wrong place or at the wrong time—especially at work. Unfortunately, many of us undermine the efforts to bring about meaningful change in organizations by deferring to non-empirical tactics that ignore t

Farmers pay attention to the details . It is not always an innate quality. By sheer hard work, constant research, an investment in time, and consistent habits he or she fosters growth in ways others may not understand. A farmer works harder for better results . We could easily be talking about leadership: it is so much like gardening. As leaders, it is too easy to see the role as one of domination and control. We are in charge and we want everyone to know that. Yet, if we tend a garden or a farm, we learn quickly that the plants have their own way of surviving in the wild. We cannot pull on the green stems. A nurturing approach is not "an" option in leadership; it is the only option . It is also something you can learn with practice and patience, like farming and gardening. To lead effectively, we must nurture . In many ways, the gardening analogy is better than any other analogy (say, running a race, rowing, or building a house). Some things that come out well are: Stre

  Being present with oneself, in the moment, being mindful, mentalizing, reflective function— all of these constructs point toward a crucial recognition of one’s own experience that takes place repeatedly on short time scales , as much as it is an overarching way of seeing that spans a lifetime. Practicing curiosity fosters open-mindedness. There is a firm but gentle way to be intently aware, where one almost sees oneself as a beloved stranger. Being a stranger to oneself can represent alienation and nihilism, but it can also be the beginning of a love affair as we meet ourselves anew. Closeness to oneself, however, can pose a variety of real and imagined threats. It is important to respect our own boundaries, self-consent to all major decisions, and equip ourselves well. Self-Absorption vs. Self-Reflection In the journey of self-discovery and personal growth, two seemingly similar yet fundamentally different concepts often arise: self-absorption and self-reflection. While both