***Continued from Chapter 01 (Covered previously: Diwali & Family Ties, Bowen Family Systems, Three out of the eight concepts of the Bowen Theory Views)
04: Family Projection Process
Children inherit many
types of problems (as well as strengths) through the relationships with their
parents, but the problems they inherit that most affect their lives are
relationship sensitivities such as heightened needs for attention and
approval, difficulty in dealing with expectations, the tendency to blame
oneself or others, feeling responsible for the happiness of others or that
others are responsible for one’s own happiness, and acting impulsively to
relieve the anxiety of the moment rather than tolerating anxiety and acting
thoughtfully. The projection process follows three steps:
These steps of scanning, diagnosing, and treating begin early in the child’s life and continue. The child grows to embody the fears and perceptions of the parent.
Example:- . . . parents perceive their child to have low self-esteem, they repeatedly try to affirm the child, and the child’s self-esteem grows dependent on their affirmation.
Parents often feel they have not given enough love, attention, or support to a child’s manifesting problems, but they have invested more time, energy, and worry in this child than in other siblings. The siblings less involved in the family projection process have a more mature and reality-based relationship with their parents that fosters the siblings developing into less needy, less reactive, and more goal-directed people. The mother is usually the primary caretaker and more prone than the father to excessive emotional involvement with one or more of the children. The father typically occupies the outside position in the parental triangle, except during periods of heightened tension in the mother-child relationship.
05: Multigenerational Transmission Process
This describes how small
differences in the levels of differentiation between parents and their
offspring lead over many generations to marked differences in differentiation
among the members of a multigenerational family. The information creating
these differences is transmitted across generations through relationships.
The transmission occurs on several interconnected levels ranging from the
conscious teaching and learning of information to the automatic and unconscious
programming of emotional reactions and behaviours.
The combination of parents actively shaping the development of their offspring, offspring innately responding to their parents’ moods, attitudes, and actions, and the long dependency period of human offspring results in people developing levels of differentiation of self that is similar to their parents’ levels. The next step in the multigenerational transmission process is people predictably selecting mates with levels of differentiation that match their own. As these processes repeat over multiple generations, the differences between family lines grow increasingly marked.
The Level of differentiation can affect longevity, marital stability, reproduction, health, educational accomplishments, and occupational successes. The highly differentiated people have unusually stable nuclear families and contribute much to society; the poorly differentiated people have chaotic personal lives and depend heavily on others to sustain them. A key implication of the multigenerational concept is that the roots of the most severe human problems as well as of the highest levels of human adaptation are generations deep.
For example:-.. . if a family programs someone to attach intensely to others and to function in a helpless and indecisive way, he/she will likely select a mate who not only attaches to him/her with equal intensity, but one who directs others and makes decisions for them.
06: Emotional Cut-off
This explains about people
managing their unresolved emotional issues with parents, siblings, and other
family members by reducing or totally cutting off emotional contact with
them. Emotional contact can be reduced by people moving away from
their families and rarely going home, or it can be reduced by people
staying in physical contact with their families but avoiding sensitive
issues. Relationships may look “better” if people cut-off to
manage them, but the problems is dormant and not resolved. People risk
making their new relationships too important.
For example:- . . .the more a man cuts off from his family of origin, the more he looks to his spouse, children, and friends to meet his needs. This makes him vulnerable to pressuring them to be certain ways for him or accommodating too much to their expectations of him out of fear of jeopardizing the relationship. People who are cut-off may try to stabilize their intimate relationships by creating substitute “families” with social and work relationships. An unresolved attachment can take many forms.
Examples may be:-
People often look forward to going home, hoping things will be different this time, but the old interactions usually surface within hours. It may take the form of surface harmony with powerful emotional undercurrents or it may deteriorate into shouting matches and hysterics. Both the person and the family may feel exhausted even after a brief visit. It may be easier for the parents if an adult child keeps distance. The family are relieved when the person leaves.
07: Sibling Position
People who grow up in
the same sibling position predictably have important common characteristics. Where
a person is in the birth order in the family, has an influence on how he/she
relates to her parents and siblings. Oldest children tend to gravitate
to leadership positions and youngest children often prefer to be followers. The
characteristics of one position are not “better” than those of another
position, but are complementary. Some examples:. .
People in the same
sibling position may exhibit marked differences in functioning.
The concept of differentiation can explain some of the differences. For
example:. . . . .. . . rather than being comfortable with
responsibility and leadership, an oldest child who is anxiously focused on may
grow up to be markedly indecisive and highly reactive to expectations.
Consequently, his younger brother may become a “functional oldest,” filling a
void in the family system. He is the chronologically younger child, but
develops more characteristics of an oldest child than his older brother. Middle
children may exhibit the functional characteristics of two sibling positions.
The sibling positions of a person’s parents are also important to consider. An oldest child whose parents are both youngests’ encounters a different set of parental expectations than an oldest child whose parents are both oldests’.
08: Societal Emotional
Process
Each concept in Bowen
theory applies to nonfamily groups, such as work and social organizations. The
concept of societal emotional process describes how the emotional system
governs behaviour on a societal level, promoting both progressive and
regressive periods in a society. Cultural forces are important in how a society
functions but are insufficient for explaining the ebb and flow in how well
societies adapt to the challenges that face them.
In times of regression (like
the current pandemic), people act to relieve the anxiety of the moment rather
than act on principle and a long-term view. A regressive pattern began
unfolding in society after World War II. It worsened some during the 1950s and
rapidly intensified during the 1960s. The “symptoms” of societal regression
include a growth of crime and violence, an increasing divorce rate, a more
litigious attitude, a greater polarization between racial groups, less
principled decision-making by leaders, the drug abuse epidemic, an increase in
bankruptcy, and a focus on rights over responsibilities. Human
societies undergo periods of regression and progression in their history.
Content Curated By:
Dr Shoury Kuttappa.
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