***Continued from Chapter 01 (Covered previously: What is compassion, differentiation from pity, sympathy, empathy, love, etc., Orientations of compassion)
How
Can We Best Cultivate Compassion?
A growing body of evidence suggests that, at our
core, most humans have a natural capacity for compassion. Infants too
young to have learned the rules of politeness spontaneously engaged in helpful behaviour
without a promise of reward, and would even overcome obstacles to do so. Despite
this, everyday stress, social pressures and life experiences, in general, can
make it difficult to experience and fully express compassion to
ourselves and to others. Fortunately, we also have the capacity to nurture and
cultivate a more compassionate outlook.
Cultivating compassion is more than experiencing empathy or concern for others. It develops the strength to cope with suffering, to take compassionate action, and the resilience to prevent compassion fatigue – an extreme state of tension and preoccupation with the suffering of others. These qualities support a wide range of goals, from improving personal relationships to making a positive difference in the world
There are at least six current empirically-supported interventions that focus on the cultivation of compassion:
A) Compassion-Focused Therapy: . . . . . . . . . . This focuses on two psychologies of compassion. The first is a motivation to engage with suffering, and the second is focused on action, specifically acting to help alleviate and prevent suffering. It is an integrated and multi-modal approach concerned with alleviating the sense of shame and high levels of self-criticism we often experience.
B) Mindful Self-Compassion: . . . . . . . . . . This was developed as a program to help cultivate self-compassion, that is treating ourselves with the same kindness, concern, and support we would show to a good friend. This combines the skills of mindfulness and self-compassion to enhance our capacity for emotional well-being. Its emphasis is on distinguishing between the inner critic and compassionate-self.
C) Compassion Cultivation
Training: . . . . . . . . . . It draws its theoretical
underpinnings from contemplative practices of Tibetan Buddhism and Western
psychology. It delivers training in compassion practices across six steps:
1)
Settling the mind
and developing mindfulness skills.
2)
Experiencing loving-kindness and
compassion
for a loved one.
3)
Practicing Loving Kindness Meditation
and compassion
for oneself.
4)
Compassion towards others
through embracing our shared common humanity.
5)
Compassion towards all beings.
6) Active compassion practice where one imagines taking away others’ pain and sorrow and offering to them one’s own joy and happiness.
D) Cognitively-Based Compassion Training: . . . . . . . . . . This draws from what is known as ‘lojong’ in Indo-Tibetan Buddhism and coaches practitioners to cultivate compassion through simple contemplative practices. It incorporates mindfulness and cognitive restructuring strategies to encourage a shift of perspective through reflection about ourselves and our relationship to others.
E) Cultivating Emotional Balance: . . . . . . . . . . This is based on Western scientific research on emotions, and traditional Eastern contemplative practices and is aimed at building emotional balance. Here there is an emphasis on understanding emotions and being able to recognize the emotions of others. It is an educational training method that creates pathways to compassion by training and teaching individuals to recognize the suffering of others and of oneself, and to tolerate the distress more effectively through learning new ways of managing emotions.
F) Compassion Meditations and
Loving-Kindness Meditations: . . . . . . . . . .These
are often combined and practiced together in compassion-based interventions to
help settle the mind, increase compassion to self and others, and to improve
mental health. They are meditations during which the aim is to
express goodwill, kindness, and warmth towards others by silently repeating a
series of mantras. Both practices involve a structured approach where
individuals can learn to direct caring feelings towards oneself, then towards loved
ones, then towards acquaintances, then towards strangers,
then towards someone with whom one experiences interpersonal difficulties,
and finally towards all living beings without distinction.
Can Compassion Be Measured?
Eight popular psychometric instruments that are used in the measurement
of compassion are mentioned below. Each has its own varying validity and focuses
on different aspects of compassion.
1)
Compassionate love scale
a.
Intended for the general population
b.
Consists of two forms: one relating to close family
and friends, and one focusing on humanity as a whole.
2)
Santa Clara brief compassion scale
a.
Examines compassion in relation to strangers
3)
The compassion scale
a.
Provides measure of compassion across domains that
could be strengthened through guided coaching.
4)
Self-compassion scale
a.
Does not include items specifically relating to
being attentive to how one is feeling.
5)
The compassion scale (Pommier)
a.
Based on the theory compassion consists of kindness,
mindfulness, and common humanity.
6)
Relational compassion scale
a.
Measures compassion for others, for themselves,
their beliefs about how compassionate people are to one another, and their
beliefs about how compassionate other people are towards them.
7)
Compassionate care assessment tool
a.
This tool is completed by receivers in relation to
their caregivers.
8)
The Schwartz Centre compassionate care scale
a. Measures receivers’ ratings of compassionate care received from their caregivers.
Ways to Build and Cultivate Compassion in Daily Routines
1)
Begin each day with compassion in mind
2)
Volunteer: . . . Donating our
time to a worthwhile cause is just one of the ways we can actively show
compassion to others.
3)
Actively listen: . . .Being
fully present and truely listening to others. Listening provides relief to
those in a world that can be indifferent to suffering.
4)
Have a self-compassion break – Taking a
self-compassion break to help bring the important aspects of
compassion to mind when you need it most. Example: Think of a situation that
is causing us stress and tell ourselves ‘I am struggling in this moment and
that’s ok’, ‘I am not alone’, and offering ourselves soothing words of
acceptance.
5)
Ask ourselves- ‘How would I treat a friend?’ – We are often more
critical and judgmental about our own struggles than those of others. How would
we treat a friend experiencing hard times? Why treat ourselves any differently?
6)
Practicing mindfulness – Mindfulness is the process
of bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment
and develops the ability to recognize distress in ourselves while encouraging
emotional balance in the face of adversity.
7)
Keeping a compassion journal –to record the
moments we experienced compassion, anything we felt bad about, and anything we
judged ourselves harshly for. Write down some kind, understanding words of
comfort.
8)
Commonalities – Rather than
focusing on how we differ from others, we can try instead to recognize what we
have in common. Reflect on the commonalities we have with everyone else – we
are all connected to the larger human experience.
9)
Guided meditation – Compassion meditation and
related practices can have many positive outcomes, including increasing
self-compassion and other-focused compassion
10) Write a compassion
letter to ourselves. Example: Think of something that
tends to make us feel bad about ourselves. Now imagine an unconditionally
loving and compassionate friend who can see all our strengths and weaknesses.
Write a letter to ourself from the perspective of this friend, focusing on the
perceived inadequacy we tend to judge ourselves for. What would this friend say
from the perspective of unlimited compassion? After writing the letter, put it
down for a little while. Then come back to it and read it again, really letting
the words sink in.
11) The Eastern
wisdom practice of Tonglen – take a moment to imagine all the people in
the world who may be struggling in the same way that we are. Inhale and think
of how we are experiencing the same feelings as others are. Exhale and focus on
the compassion we feel both for ourself and for others.
We often consider some people to be more compassionate than others, but we have the potential to adopt a more compassionate outlook through training and deliberate practice. While it may be challenging, the cultivation of compassion is undeniably beneficial – to us and to those around us.
Content
Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa.
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